long rant!! i love my bf but i need more sex!!!

Ugh! My boyfriend and I havent been getting to have sex more than once a week, since we're in highschool and live seperately and don't get to sleep together. it wouldnt be so frustrating but we see each other constantly bc were in school together and we hang out whenever hes not busy or working and i just want a piece of his fine self... but when we do hang out theres often some circumstance stopping us from being able to get it on; we both have families of 5 and i share a room with my sister and have an impossobly small house. or when we can hes often just not in the mood. and hes not easy to get in the mood for him its like a specific mood and its usually not brought on by anything unlike me im easy to turn on.

anyway for example this past week i hung out with him 4 times and we only had sex 1/4. on the 2nd he was too sore from having sex a couple days before, the third i was over at his for thanksgiving dinner so we were with his family and we went and cuddled on his bed aftrr but he was tired from his 8hr shift that day and from his family and he ended up falling asleep on me which was cute so i wasnt upset at all so i went home and let him have a good sleep... but i was horny that night and i had been the night before and i fantasize a lot about him and masturbating doesnt make me happy i cant please myself i just end up whispering his name and whimpering and wanting more that im not capable of giving myself i dont have any toys or anything and im terrified to put somethimg up my own vagina i cant even use tampons and my fingers dont really feel good i just want his DICC so bad. today we saw each other again and i lied in bed with him for like 4 hours doing nothing and them we watchrd some tv and then at 8 o clock he said ok lets take you home and i got really upset bc id been wanting to have sex with him all day and iy was so early i was hoping we'd go for a quickie before i had to go but we didnt and he didnt really want to despite having been hard while we were im bed together previously. but he fell asleep while he was spooning me and then obvi wasnt feelin it anymore whem he woke up despite my hinting!!!!!!! and then i ended up crying like a 3 year old when he said i had to go home and we had a talk for a while and i felt so bad im HONESTLY such a whiny piece of shit but i just want dick so bad!!!!! i cant take it!! so today i was texting hom after i got home and apologizing for being dumb and making sure he knows how much i love him and that im not unsatisfied by him i just want MORE of him cause hes irrisistable and i get a bit anxious bc he doesnt feel the same way about me and i worry im boring and unsexy.... i always want validation from him like when i get upset bc he doesnt wanna have sex with me i wanna hear him say "you are sexy girl" and stuff whenever hes horny i just act like a little ho i MELT into his touch and id die to hear him say stuff like how cute i am more often he always says "bring me that booty" when hes frisky and wants to spoon and my heart jsut lights the fuck up like i crave that validation and love from him and also his dick!!! so baf that i act like a fucking child throwing a temper tantrum like weekly when i cant get it....

anyways today i suggested we should try planning out time to have sex like we would with date nights. and it seemed really weird but i decided its stupid for me to just beat myself up and call myself an idiot and a child for crying over being horny bc i just continue to do it anyway and the only way to change it is to take myself seriously. if im crying over sex it must be important to me. im constantly anxiety planning when we can possibly have sex in my head and its super unhealthy bc then i get my hopes up and i get dissappointed ig i dont get it. which is often sooooo.... and if we plan it together it can be a fun and cute thing not something i get distressed over like when i plan it secretly in my head..

anyway my bf said yes that sounds like a good idea. so we planned it for tuesday. hopefully this works well for us bc theres no point in fighting over our sex life when we are capable of totally satisfying eaxh other and we love each other to bits.