I just wanted a friend

I’m an ambivert and I’ve gone through some shit that traumatized me. I feel as though it still effects me because I can’t find any good friends and I feel like I’m drowning in this ocean of expectation to be fucking perfect when I know I can’t be but I still try and try in hopes that one day I’ll find someone who will just except me for me not because I’m dumb or ugly or because I have a bunch of mental problems. I don’t understand why people must be so cruel I just wanted to have someone thang with and laugh with and feel like a good person for once. I just wanted a really good friend. One that won’t leave. And one that is accepting of all of my mental, emotional, and physical flaws.