Depressed

I honestly have been feeling so down recently & have literally have no motivation. I feel ugly everyday & i dont have the motivation to do makeup, brush and fix my hair😪i look so ugly and theres nothing i can do about. I always have bad thoughts, i can never think positive. I dont have motivation to clean my room or even eat anymore. I had this goal for about 3 years that i wanted to gain weight bc i was too skinny and i was ugly and disgusting, it didnt help that people called me anorexic, I always acted like it didnt bother me but it did bc all i wanted was to have a gorgeous thick body & i put in so much effort to get this body & i still have a lon way to go, but with the lack of motivation i been having recently, i dont know how to keep my goal. I just need advice and suggestions on how i can get back to feeling myself again instead of gross, ugly and motivation-less :(( please help