Just need to let it all out..

I have always had really bad anxiety but lately it has been getting a lot worse. Plus I’m also very depressed all the time now a days. I feel like the only thing that holds me grounded is the control that I have over my body. I think about cutting myself all the time. And I think about suicide multiple times a day. I don’t think that I would ever do either but the thoughts are always there. Sometimes I take a razor and run it over my arm but I never can do anything worse than a scratch. I know that I shouldn’t but I feel like this is the only way to let my emotions out.