The waiting game

CD 25 11DPO Af due in 3 days.

I took a test this morning and got nothing.

Didn't BD as much as I would have liked this cycle but we did it the second day I had my positive opk so I'm hoping that was enough.

I have had sharp pinching pains the past week and I've never had them before. It started out in the lower abdomen but then I had a few higher up too so I'm not sure.

We are a month away from it being 12 months since we stopped using protection.

It'll be a year of tracking in February so I think it's time to see a Dr.

I just want to either get a damn positive or get my period now. I don't want to wait another 3 days.

This app is the only support I have. The few friends who I have told about TTC have all fallen pregnant very very easily and can't really help with advice or patience.

I keep telling myself "if it doesn't happen this month I'll stop trying next month and just go with it"... then my fertile week comes and bam! There I am with my pee sticks hiding in the toilet lol.

It is coming to a time where I'm applying for positions to work again next year and it would be really helpful if I knew what to apply for or say to my boss because if I apply for permanent then fall pregnant I'm going to look like a bitch leaving them to find a replacement. (It's always been the plan though so I can have mat leave)... or ask to have a less stressful position just in case I do fall pregnant and need to leave later on.

Waiting to fall pregnant.. waiting to get AF... waiting to see if I have a job next year... waiting to see if it will be a permanent position or stay on as temporary...waiting to start my family... waiting for an engagement ring from my partner of 10 years...

I'm tired of waiting.