Is being jealous of your beautiful pregnant cousin bad?

My cousin is gorgeous. She has two beautiful girls, ckylar and Camani. She is now pregnant with her third baby, and yes it is another girl. We’re both the exact same age, 25. She’s been with her man since high school and so have I. I’m engaged she’s not but might as well be... though it seems we have a lot in common, she has one thing I don’t the ability to give life. She’s 6 months and is due in January. Her baby will be a Capricorn just like me. Since she’s been pregnant we’ve spoked and I’ve been happy for her. Seeing her today made me extremely sad. Her glowing regal skin, her smile, her round full belly. It made me quite upset. What really took a toll on me is when I saw the baby kick. I swear I wanted to cry. She kicked... not sure if it was for me, but I felt my voice triggered it. We were talking about how different this pregnancy is from the last two and she kicked. It was so magical. now I’m tucked away in my room under a blanket. Sad! Because up until this point I’ve never had the joy of feeling a baby kick inside of me. Never have I experienced the sudden urge to run to bathroom because my bundle of joy is sitting on my bladder. I’ve never felt Life inside of me and my cousin is all mother Theresa with two beautiful angels and another on the way. I’m jealous. And of course she’s doing everything natural. What is she? super woman. I may not get any responds but I needed to vent.