I have never told a soul...

Much like the title says, whoever reads this is the first to know about what happened. It happened when I was about eight years old, my brother was 7. One night he came into my room, saying he had had a nightmare. I let him sleep in bed with me, trying to be nice. Then, when I was about ready to fall asleep he asked me if he could...finger me. I said no of course! But he continued, then he said something he would tell out parents something I can't remember. Basically he blackmailed me into making me feel there wasn't anything I could do. I was young at the time, didn't know anything or how serious it was. I didn't know what or why he would want to do that to me. There have been other instances like this, well kind of.

As we got older, my brother got stronger due to being in a variety of sports. He used to pin me down, punch me sometimes in the face, spit in my face (especially my eyes), he would hump my abdominal area and face, choke me, etc. I have told my parents some of this stuff and they said it was just how brothers treated sisters or that I should get over it.

Now, at 20, I still think about this stuff. Was I raped at 8 years old? Because I've always been told that rape is unwanted sexual intercourse and what happened to me was just fingering, but unwanted. I have a hard time trusting men because I think they will all be like my brother.