Just need to vent here🙂🙄😪☺️

Okay so my boyfriend and I have been together for 4 years. He has 2 beautiful little girls from his ex but I adore them as if they’re mine. Well his ex and I never really saw eye to eye when him and I first got together. I tried to be easy with her since they have kids together but it never worked. I guess I may have grown up because recently we all went out to eat together, to the fair, talking about Christmas & everything like finally after 4 years things are looking better. After my boyfriend getting an $800 fine for hitting her boyfriend for self defense & after months of not seeing the girls due to the child ness of them two we finally are all getting along for the girls!!! Now I’m kind of jealous of her right now because she just recently had a baby boy with her new boyfriend( I’ve been ttc for 3 years) they just bought their own house, they just seem so happy and everything and here my boyfriend and I are trying to save up for our own place but currently we live with my mom and dad it’s so hard to especially with the fine and child support coming out of his checks. I admit some days were extremely happy other days are just horrible!!! I feel like I’m rushing into everything but I want what she has if not even better. I mean I’m super glad that her and I are actually on good terms but I’m just lost with ttc , wanting to marry the love of my life, wanting to not feel stressed & wanting a house. Right now I’m so mixed emotions like arghhh!! Will my time come ?! Please understand where I’m coming from and please no judgement