First time Vs Last time

My first time was terrible. It was a stranger. He pressured me, and then tricked me in an abusive 7 month long relationship where he made me have sex with another guy and when I did out of my own free will, we were actually dating, accused me of cheating. The last time we had sex I cried and cried after because I felt like he didn't even want me, he made me say his brothers name... I felt like shit, he wouldn't even stay after.

With my current boyfriend, we have sex after our first date, in my bed, and he kept kissing me and asking if I was okay and made sure I finished. After he spent the night and cuddled me and made me feel special and loved, even though I know he doesn't love me yet I feel it.