Possibly Petty/Stupid Rant

My name is Paige and I’m in 10th grade. I’m in a large-ish friend group and these two girls have decided they should go off on their own every time we get together for a portion of the time. one of the times they invited me to go with them, and because i was curious i went. it didn’t seem so bad, mostly women’s anatomy type stuff, hormones, high school, whatever. they might have said a few snide remarks but it wasn’t excessive. so after that they invited me to have dinner with them and another person in the group, and i thought it’d be okay considering how i thought their private discussions worked. terrible decision. they shaded sooooooo many people, in and out of our friend group, and i just joined in because it’s so easy to lose yourself in gossip and i didn’t want to be the odd man out. after that night, i felt this pit in my stomach, and i knew i didn’t want to do anything like that again. as a teenage girl, not gossiping is definitely hard, but doing it leaves everyone feeling awful. what these girls are doing is toxic and melodramatic. tonight these girls wanted to go off on their own and share secrets and whatever and i guess they thought i was coming with, but i just walked the other direction because i didn’t want to deal with it, and now they’re being all passive aggressive towards me, like i did something wrong. the high schooler in me wants them to like me because they’re always the center of attention, directing the drama, and the human part just wants

it to end. this might’ve sounded dumb i just wanted to share. comments are definitely welcome, because i still have no idea how i’m going to move past this.