tell me I'm not crazy

so this is gonna be long... I'm sorry. I'm currently married and have been 2 years. been together 4. I'm not happy and I feel my needs are neglected. I'm not talking sexual either. I have mental and physical health issues as well as bad credit and my husband literally doesn't care! he says he does but he only works on him. if he's sick he can go to the Dr but if I'm in pain suddenly he has to buy something and we don't have money. Hes always putting it off. recently he got a car... with his brother. that helps their credit but he won't even put me on it or let me make payments to my student loan to raise my credit. he refuses to even acknowledge I have mental health issues and I'm suicidal. says its all in my head and I'm looking for attention and I never had an issue until I started talking to someone from my past this last month. well that person happens to be my ex husband whom I am still best friends with and very close. in the last month he has helped save me a total of 4 times including when I cut myself which my husband didn't even notice until I told him 2 days later. anyways we moved out of state to live with his brothers and he doesn't even want to get our own place. I can't get mental health here like I could back home where my family is and I mentioned moving back. he was for it until I started talking to my ex then all of a sudden cuz he's there it's he will never move back. I feel stuck here in this state and relationship and have no support whatsoever. I've really been thinking about leaving him and doing it on my own to get the help I need around the support I do have. my ex is trying his best to help me as well as my other best friend. but it's hard 1800 miles away. my family live in a small town 4 hrs from my ex and I can't stay with anyone I know including family for certain reasons so my only option is a homeless shelter. where my family is they are backed up 3 months but where my ex lives they have 3 shelters with beds immediately. They also help you become self sufficient and have classes and stuff for mental health. my husband is sending me on a 1 way plane ride to go home to see family for Christmas and it's up to me to come back. would I be absolutely crazy to leave everything here behind and go to a shelter to better myself? my husband thinks it's just to be with my ex which my ex had already told us multiple times he doesn't see me like that anymore. we are strictly best friends and that's it. but my husband still makes me feel guilty for even talking to him. I feel good about doing this even tho I'm terrified and have never taken care of myself. I've literally always had someone take care of me my whole life whether it's parents, sister, or a boyfriend/ husband. I feel like it's something I have to do but my husband says I'm selfish cuz I'm leaving him for no reason. he says we can work on me here but nothing has changed in 4 years. I feel like I'll always be on the back burner to him. my best friend actually describes me as my husband sees me as a trophy wife. he was a virgin and never had a gf before me. she says he just doesn't wanna be alone and knows I'm the only girl he'll get. am I being selfish or is it what's best for me? am I just crazy? help!