I feel horrible. I love my daughter so much and she was so wanted. I loved every second of pregnancy, even the morning sickness and aches and pains. For the past 3 weeks or so, I've become an impatient monster. I yell at her. A lot. Instead of comforting her when she falls or bumps into something, I blame her and tell her it's her own fault. Then I comfort her after I've calmed down. I know way better than to yell at a baby. I don't see the light at the end of the tunnel anymore. I don't see this getting any better. As much as I can't imagine a day without her, im thinking of adoption as she deserves a more fit mother. I need support either way. Just reaching out to my other September mamas.

Thanks in advance for any support. And any comments telling me I'm a horrible person, I already agree.

UPDATE

I haven't gone to the doctor yet because it's nearly impossible to leave work early and/or take baby girl with me. However, I did talk to my husband about things he can do to help lower my anxiety. I also stepped down from a really stressful position at my job and I do what I love again. Went back on my blood pressure meds which also helped a little. Plus the comments on this post were really helpful. I basically now give myself a few minutes every day and accept my shortcomings, such as my house will have to be messy sometimes. I do plan to get in touch with my OB about this soon, just getting a magical 4pm appointment can be rough. Also, someone mentioned daycare...a couple times I dropped LO off with my mom

So I could run errands and told my husband he has to be a dad once a month so I can meet up with my besties. I can't thank all of you enough for your love and support. It's truly an amazing feeling ❤️