This is a long post but I appreciate any guidance and insight ❤️

A little background info: I’m 1.5 years older than my sister- I am 31 and she just turned 30. Growing up, I was what you called the beauty and she was the brains. I was the “nice” one/ optimist and she was the hothead/pessimist. I developed very young- menstruation at 10 and gained lots of male attention from an early age. My sister grew very overprotective of me, and soon, anger (jealousy?). She was expected to be extremely successful- always great grades, drum major in marching band- all around a model student. I was ok at school- my grades were As Bs, but I enjoyed playing the guitar and singing with our high school mariachi group, something my parents were extremely proud of (we are Mexican American). Our teens were rough but we still got along as sisters and in our 20s our relationship was cordial and playful but still a little rough. She claims to have had an eating disorder and depression as a result of her watching me being objectified by men because I was always so curvy (um, ok). She wanted to become a veterinarian or lawyer, and I’ve wanted to be a dentist since I was 18.

Fast forward a few years- I got married at 25, divorced at 28, and I graduated Dental school at 30. I later learned of snarky and disturbing things she’d said about me throughout the years- at my wedding (she was disgusted at how composed I was despite the fact that we had an outdoor reception and it was cold and raining- “ugh, just look at her. This is a disaster”. She was my maid of honor) to telling my mother I had had 3 abortions (false). This all while she has been pursuing her sociology Ph.D and she still has not graduated. She found the science classes required to get into veterinary school to be too difficult. On top of all this she has been diagnosed with clinical depression, ADHD, and anxiety, abusing Adderall. She flew down for my graduation and promised this grandiose speech at my graduation party we held at my aunts house . She shows up near the end of the party (hungover, I later learned). No speech, not a shred of remorse on her. I was visibly upset and confronted her, to which she replied, “I paid for my plane ticket to be here, I can be wherever I want”.

I got engaged to the man of my dreams this past February. She is still single with many prospects leaving her because she is so difficult tempermantelly. Not a single “congratulations”, “I’m so happy for you”. We bought our dream home in June and she had absolutely nothing to say about that. This July, I find out we are expecting! Not planned. She barely says anything, except for “I’m not ready to be an aunt”, “I hope it’s a girl, because I hate little boys”. At this point I decide I’m not going out of my way to share anything with her. We haven’t spoken since then. Her birthday passes and I really didn’t feel like speaking to her still, so I didn’t call or text, much less send her anything.

Yesterday, we found out we are having a little boy! I am so excited. I’m not on Facebook but my mom posted the news all over. Of course my sister has to chime in saying how much she wanted a niece, not a nephew. And how much she hates boys. We are still not speaking. I’m livid.

My dilemma is this- we bumped up our wedding to Dec and I’m at the point where I don’t even want to send her an invitation to our small wedding. Not like she would come (she’s in school at Pennsylvania, I’m in Texas), but I feel like sending her an invitation is a sign to her that I’m condoning all that hate towards me and my unborn child. Yet, by not sending her an invitation I feel like that’s really drawing a line in the sand and our relationship will be done for good.

To send or not to send? Am I overreacting? Her words and attitude towards me are heartbreaking but I’m tired of playing down my life and accomplishments just because she is miserable with her life!