My boyfriend (let’s call him J) and I were roomies that fell in love. Things were going well until I found out he was sexting another woman. He told me he and BJ (sext lady) worked together a long time ago and had been sexting for the last TEN years. They have never been physical. He said he would quit. About a month or so ago, I was using his phone and saw a text notification from BJ. It wasn’t a sexy text, but I was immediately enraged. I asked him about it. He said they were friends before they were sexy friends and that they had been checking in on each other.

Fast forward to now.

I was out with friends the other night, and had the worst guy feeling that he was sending sexts to her again. When I came home I told him that I’m not sure if I’m having anxiety over seemingly nothing or if I’m having intuition. I asked him to pull up bus phone and let me see his messages to her. There they were, he was asking her for nude pics.

I was so hurt and angry. I called him a fucking liar and asked why he was doing this to me again. His response hurt. He said he hadn’t been in love with me for the past month or so. J said that he’s broke and depressed and has no self worth and that he no longer loves J so he cannot love me right now.

I asked him what he wanted to do- he wanted out.

I thought this was the man I would marry. I’m probably too old to have kids, but J was to be my family. It’s the slow season in my business, and he is financially unstable right now, too. I’ve asked him to promise me he won’t leave for monetary reasons.

He wants me to wait for him while he works on himself. Tonight we were talking, and he told me that he knows he has to end communication with BJ because it could be too tempting to go back when he hits a low point.

Guys. Help. I need to get my head on straight as well.

After he initially was found sexting BJ, my confidence went from an 11 to a -50. I have to get it back. I am so low, I really don’t know what to do.