So i'm gonna take this story back to the begging. It was in '05 I was in GR 8, school had just started. around the middle of the year I met a guy (we will call him bob), little did I know he would change pretty much everything. during the year we got super close, always hanging out during school, never after. we were teenagers, we liked eachother ( well at the time I knew I liked him. wasn't sure if it was mutual) I had already had extreme issue from my sister she would always put me down, call me names, basic mentally abused me. anyways back to the matter at hand, during the school year i grew more feeling for him, I basically say he was my first true love. At the end of the school year he moved back home and i transferred schools. I had his cell number somehow, I don't remember how i got it. that summer we stayed in touch for the first little bit but that was it, we didn't talk after that nor did we have fb or myspace lol.

Fast forward to 2010ish I found him on FB and we sorta caught up with eachothers lives. we were both around 17-19. well lets just say that conversation was a short one lol.

over the years we would message eachother just to stay in touch. ( keep in mind me and my SO have been together since 2010) I had my daughter in 2011, then my son in 2013, we stop staying in touch. me and my SO had our fair share of problems. like the way he used to talk to me or his attitude, lack of motivation, couldn't keep a job to save his life ( by his choice btw)

so 5 years later were in 2015 and we start talking to each other again (again SO and mine relationship is complicated at this point) well me and bob through conversation start to get to know each other again, like truly know each other. He told me stuff about his family and i of mine etc he finally told me that he has always had feelings for me but he was to shy back then (go figure) then he stopped messaging me. Found out he started dating a new girl, I'm not sure why that meant he had to stop talking to me.

now in the summer of 2016 i had a crazy canada day and got day drunk and messaged him like ALL of my feeling currently about him and kinda told him off LOL deleted him as a friend from fb tried to just leave it as that. But he was my first love so of course I looked at his page every now and then ( stalker lol)

Now by 2016 my SO had changed drastically he got a job he loves, hes being promoted in the next month as we speak. he smarten his attitude up and started to really pay attention. We added one more handsome man to our fam jam in june of 17. I am happy we are on the same page.

here's my problem, like a year ago i made a new FB account and i was going to leave the other behind, but i changed my mind and left it alone. I logged on recently and bob had actually sent me a friends request in august of 2017. Now after my drunk ass went crazy on him in '16 i figured he would never want to add me or talk to me again. So part of me want to message him and be like "yo what fucken gives" but maybe not that crazy lol. the other part of me is like just delete the friend request and leave it at that.

I mean me and bob have played this back and forth game for a good 6 years.

as I was writing this out I just kept telling my self its best to ignore it and leave it at that. But then The curiosity of me is like WHT THE F is he sending you friend request?? Part of me sorta still has feelings for him, but i feel like those will never go away as he will always be a part of my story and life. but I don't know how to get past this, I mean through out my pregnancy I forgot about him didnt look him up on fb to creep lol then after baby was born and i got bored i did, found out he is expecting his first soon, so again the makes me question like why the fuck you addding me when it seems like your moving on perfectly fine.

do I message him or leave it alone??

sorry if its all over the place, im horrible at story telling lol