been on an emotional rollercoaster for a solid week now. a lot of anger, sadness not a lot of calm, down time. being a girl is tough, being a nice healthy sane girl is even tougher. its time to give myself a break. really, my own body has been turning against me . but i feel the urge to calm down and take my time, get much needed sleep. i don't want anger in my life, especially not persistant anger. i have this deep desire to strive to be perfect and say the perfect thing and look my best and eat the best and be the smartest healthiest version of myself. i just know that is so much pressure to put on myself. I'm constantly learning to accept myself for who i am and love myself. it sure ain't easy. thing is whenever, i feel like I'm on top of the world, i start to think that the hard work is over and that i can put all this intense pressure on myself to be better because why not i feel like superwoman. but then i fall down again, and i realize that i am not a perfect person. i have flaws that have to be accepted and refurbished and not looked down on. its humbling to fall down sometimes, I'd like to be on top of myshit all the time but that just doesn't happen. it feels nice to come back down to earth and center myself. realizing my flaws and accepting them. I'm not perfect and i dont have to be . and the future won't be this happily ever after where i won't ever have an emotional breakdown or where my acne will finally clear up or that I'll be in great shape and have perfect health. looking toward the future , not putting pressure on it to be perfect and free of pain. I'm getting better every day and i just know it. love you self