I touched my same-age cousin

I was sexually curious at a very young age (5), played doctor with a male friend a lot, as we got older (8), we weren't allowed to hang out unsupervised. Around that time, I convinced my cousin to try things under the pull-out couch (our older siblings sat on top, my brother made a comment), touching and rubbing parts. I am mortified to think that they (brother and cousins) have any memory of what happened, SO much guilt and shame. I don't remember any abuse done to me or whose idea it was to play like that (with my friend).