about 2 weeks ago i had a few friends over and we picked up our friend after his football game friday night. (let’s say his name is chris) my two girl friends and “chris” and i were all hanging out at my house with my mom gone on a business trip. i told chris he could spend the night because it was already really late (like 12 am) when i picked him up. so we’re all hanging out on my couch watching tv and i’m drinking and i’m already really tired. i was laying by him he was behind me, my closest friend had passed out on one side and my other one was just chillin. i had to go up stairs to my room to grab my phone charger but when i went up there i fell asleep. after all, it was on my bed. i woke up to chris asking me if i wanted to “do it” we had sex once before and i was willing that first time but it wasn’t that good or fun or really anything and this time i wasn’t sure. i said i don’t know i’m kinda tired maybe but i never said yes. he proceeded to turning me around as i’m half off my bed still drunk and extremely tired and not super aware of what’s going on and he took my pants off pushed me up on my bed just a little more and had sex with me. it wasn’t comfortable at all. there was no kissing. there was nothing intimate about it. he didn’t look at me. and all he did was use me as a “hole” to get off with. i remember he came all over me and my bed and as soon as he was done using me he said thanks babe and got up and took a shower. the next morning i told my two friends about what happened because i wasn’t sure what it was and they both said i was raped. i kinda shook it off like it was nothing but today i talked about it with another friend today because ive been seeing posts about consent and i can’t stop thinking about what had happened. she explained to me that that was in fact rape and i can’t keep pushing it down. after we talked i felt all this pressure in my chest (and i still do) ive been crying all evening and all i can think about is the encounter and not knowing what to do. i just turned 18 and i’m still in high school. and i honestly dont know what to do. i’m scared to report it. im scared to do a lot of things because it can spark a lot of unnecessary drama in many ways. can someone please tell me what to do next or how i can move on and grow from this because i’m honestly freaking out i can’t think straight and not as close friends are noticing it. and i just don’t know what to do. i’m scared.