We named her Elizabeth.
So in late October I had a miscarriage.
The baby was so early in development I lost it before it could obtain a heartbeat. I know what many must be thinking, "it wasn't a miscarriage it was a chemical" or "it's not that big of a loss since it didn't have a heartbeat yet". Honestly I've heard it all from friends and family who I've opened up to about this event (which makes me very sad since I opened up to them for support and was instead met their opinions, though meant in good intentions, didn't meet the goal).
My husband and I prayed vigorously for our pregnancy to survive our suspicions but this past Saturday a phone call with the doctor confirmed our fear.. 😢.
We were devastated. We were so happy and so hopeful for weeks until learning what science said.
Last night we sat on our bed talking and opening our hearts up to each other about our feelings and thoughts. We have prayed for God to help us move on and try again in hopefulness. We have prayed for God to take this pain and to take our fears so we can try again once my period starts. We have prayed for the strength to look back on this event in love and not in anger.
My husband suggested something he read about that day. That maybe we can name our baby and give her a memorial. We decided that we both would have hoped she'd be a girl and we named her Elizabeth.
I've had the name Elizabeth picked out for my first girl since I was 6 years old. I found it fitting to give to her.
And honestly it made everything seem more real but it also helped us heal better. She has a name now and we can grieve her as she was, a hope we prayed on for weeks, the love we invested in her even though she was bigger than a poppy seed.
Our little Elizabeth. She won't be forgotten and will always be loved.
Until we see you again in Heaven, my little one 💖.