What do you think? Read

So I'm going to try and condense this story as much as possible. This guy I grew up with, we had been neighbors until I was 15, always kind of had a thing for me. I never thought about it because I saw him as a brother really. Well fast forward through highschool and halfway thru my jr year of college, he starts messaging me just catching up, it was nice to talk to him as when he started messaging me was right after I had announced my pregnancy (which is a whole nother story, long story short I was raped and no one knows aside from a very select few... so you can imagine the hell I was going through) so we talked for a while just friend type conversations.. well he came home for leave (hes in the marines) and made sure to be home before my due date dec 27 because he wanted to be there for me (I only know this because he told his mom.. who told my mom 🤦🏼‍♀️) well when he was home he visited a few times, I had a brand new baby so there wasn't much in the way of being able to spend time together. Well he's super sweet, brings a whole bundle of total baby essentials, wipes, spoons, burp cloths and an outfit lol he had asked his mom what babies need. 😂 it was SO sweet. We could both feel the tension and the feelings kind of arising but me being me, I ignored it. He goes back to Japan and over FaceTime a few weeks later he voiced his feelings for me, gets choked up and everything it was really sweet. I'd said that I felt the same but we should definitely kind of let it ride out to see if it is temporary or not since he might be feeling that wave of emotion due to all the new things and me seeming like the damsel in distress. So for Valentine's Day he sends a necklace that is baby feet with my sons birth stone name and birthday, I cried. It was the most thoughtful gift I've ever received. A couple months later he sends me a gift card to tjmaxx and says to go ahead and treat myself that I'm doing a great job. Then the conversations started become less and less, FaceTime ended altogether (he had been face timing at least once a week) and he just slowly dropped off the face of the earth. After a couple months I messaged him and was just like are you busy with work or kind of feel like you've moved past whatever those feelings were? His response was essentially I don't have time, let's just be friends. Y'all I never demanded or asked for Any of these convos or face times he was mostly the one prompting them because I knew he was busy with work and such. Like I was demanding of his time at all, I was like cool just get to it when you get to it I'm not going to lose sleep over it. So anyway, now it's november, he's home on leave ( the leave that HE was trying to set up with me so we could spend time together before he dropped off) and low and behold he messages me after seeing me at church. In my mind I'm thinking are you fucking kidding me, all this time and you never say anything but you get home, see me, then message me? No screw that im worth more than an out of sight out of mind in and out bullshit thing. So I was telling this to my mom and my 16 year old brother scoffs and says dude, you're my worst nightmare as a girl. Like he's had a crush on you forever, probably got really busy with work, comes home, and you're going to be stubborn as hell. I mean, I feel that I have the right to be since this is a pattern that happens every SINGLE TIME! And I am so over it! They drop off then the resurface momths or even years later trying to rekindle and tell me how great I was. But I can't avoid the fact that I feel a MAJOR pull toward him, I NO doubt have the strength to fight it.. but should I? Or should I tell him how that hurt me and let it happen as it does?

I want the blunt glow populations opinion lol so y'all put in your input because I am truly confused. Am I really not worth more than this stupid pattern of "save her for later"?