Would you stay with an alcoholic?

Question

Alright ladies I just want to know what YOU would do in this scenerio.  So say your husband whom you love deeply has a huge problem..drinking. What if he hit you once while drinking? You have been married for two years, hes never hit or abused you, but hit you out of anger when he got drunk. Lets say he got arrested and has been in jail for 4 months and gets help while there, promises to never drink again and that his eyes have opened up and he begs for your forgiveness because he doesnt want to lose you? Has this ever happened to you? Did he change? Did he become abusive even when not drinking? Did he completely stop drinking and did that save your marriage?

Answer

It depends. I’d probably give one more chance with a hell of a lot of stipulations and I wouldn’t be eager to forget. 
To me, alcohol doesn’t change you, but amplifies who you really are. If someone has a tendency to be aggressive alcohol will intensify that. 
Alcoholism runs in my family and personally, my grandfather was a terrible alcoholic. He would be highly abusive to everyone. Wife, kids, strangers. Once he got sober he never laid a hand on anyone again but still speaks to people on what I consider to be aggressive at times. It’s been a few decades of sobriety, but his wife still keeps him at an arms length. They have moved on but she hasn’t forgotten. I don’t know if I could live like that honestly. 
Whatever you decide just be careful and stick to your ultimatums. If you say “one more sip of alcohol and I’m gone”, stick to it or he WILL abuse your forgiveness.

Answer

I watched my grandfather slowly kill himself with alcoholism. I wouldn't be with someone with an addiction because I've seen that hell and want no part of it. Yeah, he might change but I would never give anyone a second chance that laid a hand on me.

Answer

I left. He wasn't this extreme... yet. He would go through  one 24 case sometimes two cases of beer a weekend! And maybe a 12-16 pack while visiting a friend during the weekdays after work... he'd always prioritize his money to make sure he had money for "enough" beer, carton of smokes, gas, new clothes before he thought about his half of rent. The worst thing was he would always drive drunk. I'm surprised he hasn't gotten into an accident or been pulled over yet. He never listened to me and would do it anyways. He did get angry while drinking sometimes, not physical but verbally... I finally left and never looked backed. He tried to contact me but I ignored him (and he was obv's drinking because he'd call between 3-6AM) I do hope he has gotten help though or cut down on his drinking though ✌🏼

Answer

My Aunts husband was an alcoholic. Went from verbal abusr to physical through out the years. She finally ended it when her 9th grade son pulled a knife on him when he was throwing her against the wall. She is now with a new guy who takes very good care of her and she's actually happy. Never seen this side of my aunt before. I obviously feel heart broken for her ex husband but she never knew how unhappy she was until she left for good. She was married for about 15 years. You can do it too 💓🙏

Answer

My childhood was ruined by alcoholism and gambling addiction.
I refuse to engage in hat behavior and I don't allow it in my home.
Find your strength and move on because even if he 'only did it when he was drunk', he still did it.
Drinking doesn't change your morals, just makes you more likely to act on them.

Answer

i divorced an alcoholic...sooooo no

Answer

One more chance with a inpatient rehab program. one slip up I'd be gone. 
 no rehab no chance.

Answer

Since I'm not sure how to edit this post I am making this comment. I just want to thank each and every one of you for all of the comments and advice. That is exactly what I needed. I know that no one can tell me what to do because when it comes down to it, I need to make the decision for myself. This has been such a hard time for me. I got married at such a young age. (19) I'm now 22 and it has been such a struggle and a roller coaster for sure. I think the hardest part for me in leaving is that weve been through so much. We've built a home together and have years of memories that I wouldn't take back if I could. I've never been around an alcoholic until I met him. At first I didn't. realize he was an alcoholic. I just thought he was someone who didnt know their limits. But then I noticed that it became a need for him. An escape. A way to cope with his depression. My husband is the funniest, sweetest, most humble person I know. He's taught me so much and how to love. He showed me what family means. What I mean when I say this is he helped me mend my relationship with my mom. He also taught me to be selfless and that life isn't about materialistic things. He introduced me to the church. He has encouraged me to be. humble, and kindhearted. He would give the shirt off of his back for anyone. I know what you're all thinking. That I'm justifying his actions. Which I'm not...I just know that alcohol changes people. I truly believe that he has a problem. that he can fix. He needs help and I will NOT be with him unless I see an improvement. He hasn't had a drink since July because he has been in jail. But that proves to me that he CAN live without it. He didn't feel that way before because he was never forced to give it up. He tells me every day how much better he feels and that his mind is clear. He still struggles with depression but I have decided to give him one chance only. I will not sacrifice any more unless he proves to me that he wants to change. So well see what happens!!

Answer

My husband had an episode of alcoholism when he was super-depressed. He didn’t hit me, but our relationship was strained. He got treatment for a while and it got much much better. I am still terrified when I think back at those times though. Everyone can have a crisis in his/her lifetime and you can help your partner through that or not. Hitting is not forgivable for me though. But everyone is different. I recommend going to Al-Anon. That was extremely helpful for me. Good luck!

Answer

I’ve seen it so many times... dated guys that had drinking problems. One of my family members has married a guy that has been an alcoholic for years. He has been physical on “accident”, broke things, been an ass... 
as much as you hope and plead, he’s not going to change. It’s super hard. Hard to love and hard to let go. You have to do what’s best for you.

Would you stay with an alcoholic?

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