Asexual and Catholic
Posting anon because this is very personal.
First of all, I am Catholic and very devoted to my God and my faith. I typically only date guys who share my beliefs.
Second of all, I know that I am asexual. I have never in my life felt turned on by anyone (male OR female.) I’m 25, and have been in several relationships, if that gives further clarity.
I’ve never had sex because of my religious beliefs -waiting till marriage- but I can’t say either that I’ve been tempted to. I’ve been in relationships where I was very lovingly attracted to my SO, enjoyed being near him, cuddling, spending time together and such. But kissing, making out, getting physical just felt gross and unnecessary, it didn’t do anything for me. 😂😭 (No, I do not have any past bad experiences either, like rape or anything, praise God)
Herein my problem lies... I want to be a mom someday. I want like 10 kids. But the idea of being a wife is terrifying. Don’t get me wrong here, it’s not the sex that scares me! I’m very much willing to try to enjoy it, find ways of getting through it. Especially because I know I wouldn’t marry someone unless I really trusted them and they really loved me. It’s the thought of not being enough for my husband. I am absolutely willing to have sex as regularly as we agree is reasonable. But I know as devoted a person as I am, I won’t be 100% able to fake enthusiasm every time. And that will absolutely put a strain on our relationship. I’m dating a really awesome Catholic guy right now and I think he might be the one (😄😍🙈) but I feel like I need to tell him this before we go any further. It would be unfair to conceal it, right? I just hate this part of myself. It makes everything so damn complicated. Takes all the fun and romance out of things.
I just need advice please. Especially from any other asexuals who are married. Thank you in advance 💕