Any other moms due with their second baby but are petrified of labor from the first??

I had 24 hours of natural labor with my daughter and although I’m proud of myself - it was traumatizing (sorry to scare any FTMs). I have an inner battle with myself where I just can’t seem to allow myself to use pain relief and have this horrible fear of another full 24 hours of labor OR caving and getting medication. I think medication is wonderful and am proud of the mamas who know their bodies best and know they need it! But I just can’t seem to be kind to myself and tell myself that option is okay for me.

Im 39+5 and believe I’ve been in prelabor since Friday but nothing steady today (although I had contractions ~5 mins apart for hours Friday into Saturday). I was 2cm on Friday before the contractions started. Ive started to lose my plug and I know baby is super low. I don’t want to say these intermittent contractions are ‘painful’ because I know they get worse, but they suck! I’m so uncomfortable and sick of contractions that aren’t leading to labor.

Someone just please tell me I’m not crazy for fearing labor even though I’ve already done it!! I go back and forth being in a good vs bad space in my mind with this one and I do know the amazing end result.. I’m just so anxious to be on the other side!! Someone tell me this baby is going to come flying out my hoo-ha!! 😫🤞🏻