I feel so discouraged right now. I am currently a stay at home wife with (now) nothing to do and no motivation to do anything anymore. I have no degree. Just a pharm tech license and burnt out from being a retail pharm tech. He is the one with the MSW, and the job that is supporting us.

DH and I are TTC #1 after we had a MC in July a week before we got married. I know God has a plan, but I just don’t see it. We have been getting into arguments that end up with mostly him screaming at me. So I have that weighing on me too. Yes we are seeing a counselor, and we are working in things.

I don’t know what else to do? We live in a small town with no jobs for me anywhere and no affordable houses to buy, and no houses to even rent. The only living they have here is apartments that get scooped up quickly, or motorhomes. We have talked about moving to a different state near extended family and cheaper living, but I don’t see that happening for awhile.

I am also having a hard time making friends from church, and in-fact when I asked a lady from my church that helped me with our wedding to meet up once a week, she said in a not-so-friendly tone “ill have think about it, but I am super busy” but her husband was mentoring my husband for awhile, but she didn’t want to meet up with me. Nor did she ever get back to me, only to find out via my husband when he was meeting her husband that she didn’t want to. To make matters worse, she hasn’t talked with me since, and has been unfriendly towards me. We do belong to a growth group, but everyone there already has at least kids.

I was told I am depressed, but who wouldn’t be after everything I have been through this year. A 4 month long jury duty earlier this year and in that time frame I got engagement and pregnant, then MC two weeks later, moved in with DH, wedding 1 week after MC, loss of job that resulted in being a SAHW now. And I feel like my marriage is falling apart.

I used to have a community, go to bible study/fellowship every Friday night, and now, I don’t have that. I guess I am just lonely. My husband works from 830am-530pm and thats if he gets home on time. Its a great schedule for us, it works out great. But I just don’t feel at home.