I stopped taking my birth control for many reasons...

-I dont eat enough so it was really hard to eat before taking it and I would always feel really sick if i didnt eat enough food i just never had an appetite...

- I didnt know if I had health insurance or not, I just moved back into California and I didnt know if I was on my moms health plan or not..

- I had ran out of my current birth control and I was waiting on my mom to get me into the doctor to get prescribed more pills and I ended up going to plan parenthood- (thank the lord for them. I got the type of birth control prescribed by my obgyn. )

-also bf and i dont really have a lot of sex, maybe like once a week or every 2 weeks (we’ve been together for a year and a half, have been living basically together ever since we started dating, we were friends before we started dating, also said i love you before we were even at the “talking stage” of our relationship)

BUT I ran out in either August or September and I had some left over but didnt bother taking them since I was already out of pill packs.

I missed my period in October, it wasnt till this November that I got my period (i had done some blow) I usually get my period on the 25th and I had gotten it on the 12th.. but I had been under a huge amount of stress and when I got my period one morning,

I had large clumps of blood come out when I wiped, and it was kind of clear/skin looking, it was kind of a larger amount when being compared to a blood clot coming out but it was definitely alarming, definitely larger than blot clots.. the blood was definitely patchy and it ranged from dark red to a porcelain skin tone-ish but the porcelain color wasnt a lot.

my boyfriend and i were having issues around the time i got my period, he said i started acting and treating him different. I was acting different for atleast 3 weeks and thats when he actually started to take note.. and we had issues just shortly after getting my period and i kind of mentioned thinking i had a miscarriage,

Like my boobs fit into my D vs bra and ive lost so much weight that i am not used to wearing my larger bras.. i am usually a bigger B cup/small C cup.. my boobs do get bigger when getting on my period but not like changing cup sizes an alarming amount.

But today is 11/20/17 and ive cried a lot, recently. I still cry over the rough patches with my boyfriend, and hes trying to make up for it but I really feel lost and weird after such a weird thing, i feel something so different and just so confused

My whole perspective on pro-life/pro-choice has changed... I really dont know if i had a miscarriage or not. Im hoping to get some closure to be able to try and atleast cope with my emotions.