Amy I a sh*try daughter

So my family is different...whose isn't. My brother was diagnosed with autism when I was 4. My parent though they "tried" really never made time for me bc they were always so busy with him. My mom always said she had trust in me that if find my own path. I got fed up at them when I was 17 and moved out because ny mom always wanted me to stay home and watch movies with her to make up for "lost time" when all I wanted to do was go and have adventures by myself or with friends and experience the world. She had all the time in the world to do that stuff when i was younger but focused soley on my brother. I remember begging her when i was little to hang out with me or take me to the park. My dad recently had a mental breakdown and my mom is a wreck because of it and the doctors are saying he may have autism as well. He never bathes (my mom doesnt even try to get him too, so my mom kind of starts to get lazy like him too) and they sound like a broken record when you get around them always saying the same things. When I have to go home for a holiday, I dread the thought and try to spend as less time as I can. Yesterday my SO and I were invited to a restaurant to eat thanksgiving because my mom didn't want to cook (I really didn't mind, bc her cooking always has cat hair in it) We got there and they said there was a 2 hr long wait. we waited for an hour and 45 minutes with them and then finally my SO saw I wanted to go and made an excuse. I feel terrible....but I really don't care for them. When I say things like that, I always think about how I wanted it to be when I was a child and this is my chance, but they're like foreign people to me. I don't know them anymore. Growing up we were always told we were just there to do chores and I never really got out much unless my brother was going to the doctor and my dad wasn't home to take care of me. They had us after 10 years of marriage and they planned us like we were an appointment. I feel bad, but I don't. anyone else feel this way?