Demiromantic and frustrated

So, I'm demiromantic. If you don't know what that means, it's a term on the aromantic spectrum and it means I only feel romantic attraction when I've already formed a bond (like friendship) with a person. It means I very rarely get crushes, and when I do, they're on my best friends. And when I get a crush on a good, close friend, I tend to do nothing about it, because I'm too chicken to risk ruining a wonderful friendship. Only once have I had a crush on a person I just met, and it was a silly summer camp crush that ended with the week, so nothing became of it. Nothing has ever become of any of my crushes. I'm eighteen years old, I've graduated high school, and I've never had a boyfriend or girlfriend or significant other of any sort. I've never been on a date. I've never been kissed.

I've never been kissed, and goddammit, I'm ready to be kissed!

I'm starting college in January, and I'm praying and praying and PRAYING that there'll be a cute boy (or boys, or girls honestly, except I don't much fancy telling my dad I'm dating a girl, tbh...) in one of my classes that I'll finally get a crush on and flirt with and, god forbid, actually date. I'm just ready. I'm sick of being single. I've been single all through middle and high school while my best friends went through SO after SO, and I pretended not to mind because #feminism and I wanted to be proud of my independence. But I'm so tired of being single that I've swallowed my feminist pride and actually started complaining to my friends about being lonely. I don't know. I'm just fantasizing a lot lately about romantic scenarios and I hate that I don't even have a crush's face to paste over the mysterious figure wooing me, because I haven't had a crush since maybe the tenth grade. (I've also been doing online school and not seeing tons of people, but still. I miss having crushes.) I don't really know why I'm posting this, except that I'm frustrated and I want to get this off my chest. I'm ready to date. I'm ready to have a first kiss. I'm tired of being the only single one, the only one who has no experience. I want somebody to crush on!