Cheating advice?

I’ve been with my current boyfriend for about a year. I was leaving to study abroad in March and before I left, my ex said he wanted to hang out and go for a drive before I left. He said he didn’t want to go drive anymore and he would just take me home after we went to his house for a bit. We were just sitting there and he slid his hand up my shirt. I freaked out and asked him to take me home. He agreed to after a while, but before we even left his driveway he said he wouldn’t take me home unless I kissed him. I knew I shouldn’t, and I didn’t want to but I couldn’t have my friends know that I was with him, so I didn’t want to call them to pick me up. I didn’t have my car and i live pretty far away so I didn’t know what to do, and I just kissed him. Not with tongue, just normal and I instantly regretted it. I went home and cried and didn’t know how to handle it or tell my boyfriend. I went to study abroad and felt so guilty that I told my boyfriend everything that had happened. We broke up for the entire time I was abroad and once I got back, we decided to try things again. He forgave me and doesn’t bring it up to me at all really, I still just feel so horrible about it. Everybody says that if you cheat that you never loved or cared about the person, and it makes me feel like I should just end the relationship with him. I love him more than anything but I feel like I ruined any chance we had, that even though it doesn’t bother him, it’s always subconsciously on my mind.