I wish I was smart

long story short, maybe. I wish I was smart/intelligent. I cry so much because of this. I only passed school due to cheating. im 28 with no career. i want to go back to school but I can't. my brain doesn't work like that. no matter how much I study my brain always forgets it unless it's something I do 24/7. I want to learn everything but I just can't. I'm tired of crying due to not being smart. I truly feel as if I have an undiagnosed learning disability. it's breaking my heart. I try so hard but I'm always messing stuff up. I want to make more then $16/hr I need to provide for my family. I just want to be smart at least know more then I do now. ughh ... signed the not so smart girl.