So my SO and I have been together 5 years. We split for a year and are trying to make it work again. Well I’m pregnant. And honestly he is not trying to fill my Love tank. I go above and beyond to try and fill his because a relationship is about sacrifice, communication, respect and trust and his happiness in the relationship matters to me, but I feel as if mine does not to him. He never takes me on simple dates, never asks me about my day and we have nothing to ever talk about and when we try to communicate about how we feel he gets mad and throws fits. I can’t remember the last time we did something as a couple. I can not even remember the last time he looked at me the way he once did. We have a two year old and I’m starting to think he only is with me because of her and I’m pregnant. He does gaslight me a lot and I’m starting to feel insane.

But truth be told he blames me for him stopping to play shows when I never asked him too. He blames me for the times he gets mad, he blames me for anything that goes wrong in his life, when he makes those choices and whatever he chooses I fully support him, because that is my job. But since he acts so miserable and isn’t really acting interested in me. Hell he tells me that he is trying, that if him bringing us back home isn’t trying he doesn’t know what is. If him trying to be a family man isn’t trying, I don’t know what is, if him trying to be a good dad isn’t trying then I don’t know what is. I didn’t have a dad so I know there are crappy dads out there but if he is going to hold over my head him TRYING to be a good dad. Like you shouldn’t have to try. Makes me feel like he is doing something he doesn’t want too.

Should I leave?

Should I find my own place and let him do him?

Because I’ve always been told if you love someone sometimes you have to let them go. And I truly love him!

And I honestly hate that I do at this point because there is so much more going on. Now I am stuck with two kids.

I will say this, I’ve tried to talk to him for years, I’ve tried to reason I have even sacrificed things to try to show him things are different when honestly after this long I shouldn’t have because I’ve been the only one holding the family together. I’ve been to counseling myself to figure it out, I’ve read the book the love dare. I’ve literally done everything humanly possible. Many things I haven’t listed and I’ve come to the realization that no matter what I do, not that it isn’t good enough, it is not good enough for him, because to him I’m not worth he effort. He says love should come natural and you shouldn’t have to put in effort or do any work to make things work. Well if you go off his thoughts, then he doesn’t really love me, and he has stated that he doesn’t know if he can ever feel the same about me but strings me along. I’m not afraid to leave but I just honestly thought that things would be different. He thinks just because he doesn’t cheat on me things should be ok. I said there is other things than cheating that cause a relationship to fail. I mean I don’t maybe I am crazy. I feel so messed up in the head with the things he says.