I'm sorry this is going to be a bit of a drag but it'll be worth it for me if it gives even one person a bit of comfort. I know I've taken great comfort in reading other people's stories over the past 9 months! So I know 9 months isn't that long but it felt like forever for me. I've always had a super irregular cycle from bleeding for a year nonstop to no period for 6 months and I wasn't diagnosed with PCOS or anything conclusive. I should mention my mum passed away from ovarian cancer (at 66) and even though she was 63 when she got it, it was just something that has always weighed heavily on my mind.

While I was on the pill, my cycle would regulate itself but as soon as I'd come off I'd get severe menorrhagia. Finally, two years ago the combination pill suddenly started to regulate my period out of the blue. I had been told how being on contraceptives for so long really affects your TTC journey and I wasn't even sexually active then. Fast forward to last year when my husband and I got married. We were both 28, and wanted to start trying after a year in hopes of an April (my birth month) 2018 baby!

I came off the pill and started taking prenatal vitamins to give myself a few months to regulate my cycle. My period regulated instantly but I wouldn't get a positive OPK for the life of me. In April, I decided to try on day six of my cycle and the line was much darker so I realised was ovulating much sooner and had a very short luteal phase.

We tried everything from daily BDing to every other day in my fertile period. I started using the clear blue digital OPKs and a basal thermometer and would BD every time I got a smiley and the days after too and yet month after month with every symptom that I'd feel, I would get a big fat negative. Bless my husband, I know it worried him too. In August, my very pregnant best friend came to stay with us for a while from out of town and it just made me that much more broody. In this time, I had at least 3 false positives. I finally caved and ordered preseed on amazon at the beginning of September. After receiving another negative at the end of September, I decided to order some maca root from Amazon. Just as I entered my fertile week, my bff went into preterm labour and I had to fly to her urgently as she was alone. I was there for her and her beautiful baby for a week and I cannot tell you just how much that made me want to have my own! I stayed up with her little one as she had a c section and I just couldn't help but pray for our turn.

The day I was coming back, I saw that a neighbour of ours was selling some leftover pregnancy tests she didn't need anymore along with a bottle of evening primrose oil which I thought I may as well try. My husband went and picked them up for me knowing full well how crazy I was going. I also ordered the wondfo ovulation and hcg tests from amazon because I just felt like I wanted to be able to test without feeling guilty about how much money I'd spend! I religiously took the maca and primrose daily from the start of my period to when my ovulation test was positive!

By now I had sort of given up as we had travel plans for November and December and I'd be away for most of January! So 7 DPO I woke up and randomly wanted to test because I'm an idiot who doesn't mind getting disappointed over and over again - and guess what - I saw a super faint line on a wondfo. Took it to hubby and he told me he couldn't see anything (he thinks pregnancy tests are like LH ones where both lines have to be equally dark!) So I took another and there was nothing - I put them both away and thought it must have been an indent.

The only symptom I had was being super gassy but I didn't think it was a big deal. No boob soreness, no unusual cramps or moodiness. I was still tracking my BBT which seemed higher than my baseline but nothing insane. So at 10 DPO I took another wondfo with FMU and posted it here and everyone told me it was positive which raised my hopes but also made me super nervous because last time it ended up being a BFN! Again, showed husband and nothing. So I dropped my husband to work, went to Target and picked up some (more) FRERs in case I used up all the ones at home - came back and held my pee for a bit and tested again. And I saw a line on the FRER but nothing on the wondfo. Another 6 tests throughout the day and I was seeing more and more line - even on the clear blue one so I had to think of a way to tell my husband as we were heading off to vacation in London the next evening (where I'm sitting at home in bed typing this right now). I tried to book an appointment with my doctor for the following morning but she had nothing available so I bought a onesie from Walmart - literally the only one I could find with a dad reference from so many places and decided it was time to tell hubby as soon as he got home!

Finally pulled out my only digital test 11DPO, the morning of our trip while hubby was still in bed, 2 days before AF was due and there it was - just what my husband needed to see to convince him...the words written out!

I cannot thank God enough for blessing us but I know we have to pray for the best these early days. I'm constantly afraid and so emotional- I just wish my mom was around. I hated people telling us TTC couples to be patient and not think about it but I can tell you it does happen. Patience (and prayers) payoff!

I'm so sorry I wrote half a book here but please remember me and lil bean in your prayers! And if any of you ever feel like you want to ask anything, I'd be happy to help even though this is my first time!