I was recently thinking about how I use to tell my ex I wasn't in the mood and he'd still persist until I gave in. I would have to think about other people while he penetrated me. There were times I would be too dry/tight for him to penetrate me; it would hurt. he'd blame me for this, and yell at me. There were times that I'd say "no I'm not in the mood, stop." and he'd say "you get in the mood after we start anyway." was I suppose to say "yeah because I would think about fucking someone else."? there were times he'd do me while I was sleeping. How am I suppose to feel about this? was I being raped and was blind to it due to being in a relationship?