Marriage, finances & bills? Who pays? Help!!🙏😫

Question

Hey ladies! I am newly married and would just like some feedback.. Before having our baby, we were not married yet and we both worked full time. We split bills evenly back then. However, I now lost my job and only my husband is working. I am currently a stay at home mom and it's kinda driving me crazy that I don't have my own income anymore😬
I just wanted to ask how finances and bills work in your home? Do you both work? If so, do you split bills or does your husband pay them all? If you're a stay at home mom, do you get an allowance? Do you only have a joint account or separate accounts too?
My parents are saying my husband is a piece of shit because we used to split bills. They say it has been his job to pay for everything. It's pissing me off because he's doing the best that he can. My parents are old fashioned and foreign😒
Any feedback is greatly appreciated!!

Answer

We initially combined everything- our salaries went straight into our joint account. We shared everything with no restrictions but that caused a bit of friction on who spends more etc... so after about 2 years of marriage we each created an allowance account and we put equal amount of money weekly from the joint account to our allowance account.(Roughly about 10-15% of our salary). 
Joint acct = joint expenses, transport and savings.
Allowance acct =our daily expenses like takeaway lunch, hobbies, going out money. 
We both work and he makes more money than I do but not by much. He’s generally not as passionate about finance, investments etc so I usually do those.

Answer

When my husband and I met we split the bills, he paid for dates though. We then got a joint account and our money was each other’s. We got married and both worked until after I had my son now I’m a SAHM and he pays all of the bills with his income. I believe in doing things fairly. Even now with my husband working and me staying home I feel bad spending his money while he’s away. But he doesn’t mind. It is all on what you guys discuss and what works for y’all. People outside of the relationship won’t understand your circumstances because they aren’t in the relationship. So what works or worked for your parents may not work for y’all.

Answer

It’s so old fashioned to think that the husband should pay for everything.. especially in this day and age, it’s hard to live off one income unless your husband is very successful and makes a ton of money. Having said that, what if the husband decides to leave? If you’ve been financially dependent on someone else, it’s going to be a disaster! I think it’s great that women these days are super educated and successful and don’t need to rely on a man - and choose to have companionship not for survival but for friendship..

Answer

My husband's the breadwinner, Lordwilling. I'm blessed to have a man with a solid upbringing and helps takes care of his responsabilities as well bringing in the income. I have been a stay at home since pregnancy with my son, now 1. it's a lot more savings and not spending part of the income on childcare, which helps greatly. if I go back to the working world, won't be til we are done with having one more, and both kids are well into elementary school, hopefully. in the meantime, I go work hard at not throwin' away his hard earnings, though he'll  remind me every now and tgen that his money is mine, etc. I try to not give him too much of a hard time when I know and see the evidence of how invested he is not only with His career, but more importantly his marriage and interaction/quality time spent with his beautiful son. life is too short ...

Answer

We have one account and both of our checks go into that account. And we just pay bills out of it. We pretty much buy what we want and if it’s over $500 we consult each other. It works for us

Answer

My husband and I got a joint account when we got married my money is his and his is mine. He takes it upon himself to make sure we have enough money but if we need I will get a job again (stay at home mom and finishing my degree). I guess we are more old fashioned because we are Christian and believe the man should provide for his family, but if circumstances were better for me to work and he was pursuing school or a certain license or couldn't work I would gladly work instead. I don't have an allowance for spending money but that's not a bad idea just to make sure you communicate on how you spend your money with your husband.

Answer

Right now, my husband is not working, but that is the best arrangement for us now. I make good money, but where we live he wouldn’t be able to get a job that would be worthwhile, low wages, long hours, increased risks, etc. Our entire relationship, though, we combined our income, no splitting. I see nothing wrong with either way, if that works for you two.

Answer

I'm the "breadwinner" in our family right now, so I pay all the bills and my husband watches our son while I'm gone. He's had some health problems, which is why he isn't working now. One day, we would both like to switch roles, but this is how it is for now!

Marriage, finances & bills? Who pays? Help!!🙏😫

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