My relationship hasn't been good for a long time. in fact it has really looked like it's been over for a while now. there's no trust left and I've lost the hope I've clung on to for years. we already have a daughter who is almost 2. he's a great father, but I'm already scared that we'll end up with shared custody of her. he says he wants to try to make the relationship work, but I'm not sure if I still have that motivation. last month we got drunk and had sex. this month I got my positive pregnancy test.

I'm really confused on what to do now. I worry that our relationship wouldn't even be able to handle the strain of another pregnancy and baby. we've already started fighting again because I'm a bitch with pregnancy hormones. I'm worried that if things don't work out that will be two children with lives more complicated than they need to be. that it could make my daughter's life harder. I just feel like it's a bad situation to bring another child into. besides our relationship not being great my mental health isn't the best either. I have depression and ptsd that has been getting progressively worse. the 'anniversary' of the event that gave me PTSD is coming up soon. he has expressed concern that the pregnancy hormones will make this even harder on me which is a fair point. I am in therapy, but it hasn't helped much yet. sometimes I flinch when my little daughter moves too wuickly. she's seen me cry and seen us yell at each other. I'm trying to keep those things from her, and I don't want to expose another baby to that.

still, a part of me is already attached to it. part of me is exciting about baby kicks and little onesies, siblings close in age. but wouldn't it be selfish to press forward knowing how easily it could all fall apart?