Evening everyone! I’m a bit anxious tonight, because I want to sit my husband down tomorrow and explain that I am adamant in wanting to use both my maiden name and and his last name. The only reason I haven’t done a legal name change yet is because my parents don’t know that we’re married. It’s a long story as to why, mostly because they’re incredibly judgemental and my mother is just plain toxic and crazy, and I don’t need them thinking I’ve settled for the first good person that came along. Now, I’m part Cuban and a bit of Brazilian in my family too. In our sorts of families it’s very common to go by a combo of your maiden and married name. His family is very white, so they don’t really understand this. It’s so important to me to keep my maiden name. I love my father more than anything, and his father was the first person who encouraged me to teach, read and write stories since he was a teacher and an author. I’m proud of my last name and our Irish heritage behind it that my brother who passed away and I identified heavily with. I’m not going to ask him if it’s okay, I’m going to insist that it has to be okay. He thinks my family is a little fucked up (I mean, of course they are, two drug and alcohol addicted brothers and a massively alcoholic mother will do that to ya...) but he knows how much I love my dad and brothers. I just keep trying to think of how I can bring it up to him and how to help him understand. I love my husband, but sometimes we misunderstand each other and it turns into this weird “fight” where we’re just saying shit over and over and trying to correct what each other meant. Anyone have any advice, or thoughts? Any other Latinas (or anyone else) found themselves in this situation with a person who doesn’t understand why they want to keep their maiden name?