Ladies how do I initiate 🙈

I'm self consious(spelling) about initiating sex. I have this fear I might get turned down(I never have though). I've been marriage a year and a half and I've been with my SO for 4 and a half years. I've tired starting by kissing and kissing his neck but sometimes he doesnt catch on. and for some reason I can't figure out how to go about it a different way. and honestly I dont really no how to go about a soft penis lol i feel like it's awkward to go about. I've initiated in the mornings but i mean hes already got morning wood and if its not quite there yet he gets uncomfortable that its not already hard for me or something (im not expecting it to be, he's alseep 😅) when it comes to sex I've always liked being to submissive one, I have a have dominant personality, but when it somes to sex I get awkward when it comes to asking for it. please help ☹ How do you initiate sex?