TTC for over a year...

Supposed to get my period tomorrow and I'm so not ready for it....... I don't want to have to deal with more disappointment.... I can already tell it's gonna make me cry.....especially right now with Christmas being right around the corner.....All I've been thinking about lately is my moms reaction when I do tell her I'm pregnant.. she wants another grandbaby so bad....how do I cope with the disappointment? Every month I feel so worthless and like a total failure....😭💔 I don't know what to do with myself......