Anyone else feel like their stress won’t ever let them get pregnant? Or maybe when my soul finally breaks in half and I give up defeated I’ll conceive but never feel excited?

I’ve had blood hormone levels, thyroid, etc tested. I chart. My cycles are regular, I ovulate every month. My husbands sperm is great. We have sex on the right days :) I see a doctor and a naturopath. I get acupuncture and take tons of vitamins and supplements. I’ve signed up for a therapist in January. I exercise. I do yoga. I eat extremely well. My weight is good (5’7, 134 lbs).

I can’t see any other explanation for our infertility than stress. And I stress about stressing. And even next month, when we are on holiday and “relaxed” I know I’ll keep thinking “we’ll now I’m on holiday and relaxed so I’ll definitely get pregnant right?!” Which is just more stress. And even if we do magically conceive one day, I’m afraid I won’t be able to enjoy it, or that I’ll develop post partum depresssion. I even think about completely changing my career just to reduce stress but I know if I get pregnant I’ll lose my benefits and won’t have an explanation for a change in career for future jobs.

Anyone else have anxiety about anxiety? I feel like “just relaxing” to get pregnant isn’t in the cards for me.