Emotional abuse.

Hello. I have been married for a year now, and honestly it's been great. However we do fight a lot. My husband is a great man, but we collide all the time. In the past I have been abused emotionally, physically and sexually. I grew up a with a hard life. I was abused for 18 years. Well my husband has helped me a lot, but I have kept some bad habits like hiding and yelling. I also have Schizophrenia with depression. Well we get into fights about my mental illness and simple things like wanting to clean up Earth. I love animals and I am pro-Earth. I express myself about my passions and he is doesn't care about protecting our planet as much as I do. So over this we got into a fight and it escalated to where he came in to the house to yell at me. Told me how I ruined his life, that I look down on him, putting words in mouth, comparing me to my dysfunctional family, saying I'm going to cheat on him, just really hurtful things. I apologized over and over; I was in pieces. When we fight he talks about abusing me and will destroy the doors or walls; whatever. He will grab my wrists and hold me down or push me against the wall, I just cry and try to walk away, but he hates that. Sometimes he won't let me leave the house. It's all upsetting and I know we are both abusers, I just wish I could do better as well as him. We both start the fight. This has been going on for months. I start it by not saying what I mean and instead point a finger at him. He starts it by yelling and it just goes goes on from there. I know being with someone who went trough abuse and being mentally ill is not easy, but I just wish there was something I could do to make it better. I love him and he loves me and we vowed to never split up, we both do not believe in divorce. He for the fact that he is old fashioned and I for the fact of my mother. Who married, divorced and remarried to just repeat it over again multiple times. If only we could move past this abuse. Thank you for listening.