I'm just wanting some advice really...

I am a mum to 2 beautiful little girls, who I love more than words could possibly describe; they are my entire world. I've had a csection with both, due to both being breech and 1 being small.

P.S Just before reading, I love my girls more than anything & equally, I wouldn't change them for the world - and would do it again for them in a heartbeat.

My 1st pregnancy was amazing, other than ending up with problems with my gallbladder - it was perfect and although I was high risk, I didn't have any more scans than normal (other than 3d scans) and it was fab. My second pregnancy consisted of constant scans & appointments because she wasnt growing..

my daughter was 15 months when her sister arrived...

My 1st csection was a breeze & really straight forward, I recovered relatively fast, and the whole procedure was perfect. However 11 weeks ago... the 2nd time around, it was horrendous, I felt everything as my spinal didn't work properly; i couldn't breathe, my recovery was horrible - I had an infection that took 4 different antibiotics to clear and had to be dressed for almost 7 weeks.

Basically, I'm absolutely petrified to have any more children, the thought of having another baby/birth brings me to tears. I would love to have maybe 1 more but I'm terrified by the thought. I just need someone to tell me if these fears will ever leave or will I always be scared? or what I can do to combat them?