This year was the best and worst year of my life. It started off okay, my cousin moved in with her 2 daughters after a breakup. I was so happy because i love my cousins, i always babysat them. Once she moved in i was watching them full time. Like I’d watch them when she had to work, when she was taking a shower, using the bathroom, partying, getting food etc. I was overworked, stressed and depressed.. I’m only 14 and was 13 when she moved in. When I wasn’t alone with them, i was with her going everywhere with her still watching them! Xena was 1 and Zara was 6 months when they moved in. In September their mom wanted to take them to Disneyland for Zaras 1st birthday but she didn’t have a car. We said she could use ours. At the time my mom had just started a full time job and had to take the bus in Arizona summer! Adrina (their mom) wanted to have a birthday party as well when they came back.. my mom said okay if you clean up. They left for Disneyland and didn’t clean. We had 1 simple rule for her to follow, NO BOYS spending the night. We made an exception for Zaras dad since it was her birthday.. my mom said he had to sleep on the couch and adrina said “can he sleep in our room if i leave the door open?” My mom said yes. Adrina shut and locked the door.. anyways once they left for Disneyland she started acting up. My mom was very stressed with the new job and asked if adrina could have the party elsewhere because my mom was feeling sick. Adrina got so mad and was arguing and eventually my mom said FINE. Have the party here just clean when you get home please. Adrina canceled it anyway, told my mom she ruined it and my mom told her to leave. She was arguing about that too. “I want my money back, this is our house too, i can have guests i pay” etc.. we eventually got her out but she blocked us on everything and we arent ever allowed to see the girls again.. i felt like their mom, i miss them so much guys. I cry all the time and especially today because it’s Christmas.. i wanted to be there to see them opening presents on Christmas morning in there pajamas with their huge smiles.. i miss laying down to take naps with them, i miss playing with them and hugging them and overall taking care of them.. were we wrong? Should i have stuck it out? And not cried when i was stressed? Honestly i dont see the point anymore.. they were my point guys, i was so proud of them and that they were my cousins. I need help...