Whenever people tell me “congratulations” I feel like I’m not giving them the response they want/expect. They always ask “are you guys so excited / over the moon / etc” and I feel like my response is so muted. I’m always like “yea, of course.” And then they stare at me blinking.

Over and over again I feel like my response to people just makes them uncomfortable because I’m not just giddy with glee. 🤷‍♀️

My future SIL tonight even asked, “was this planned, I mean you wanted a baby, right?”

And if I say something like we are still wrapping our head around it or we are still getting used to the news I feel like they are about to call child protective services on my unborn child.

This is big, life changing stuff - why shouldn’t it take some time to get used to the news?

Here’s the thing - we weren’t officially trying when I got pregnant. We weren’t NOT trying - it just happened. Yes I know we are lucky. But it caught us off guard.

And in my first trimester we had two bleeding incidents that made me question if this was even going to stick, so I didn’t ALLOW myself to get excited. But for some reason that feeling stuck around even after I’m allowing myself to feel differently.

I always knew I wanted to be a parent, but I never had that deep visceral yearning to mother. So yes I’m excited, but this is not the fulfillment of my life’s greatest ambition.

I have I doubt that once I hold the baby I’ll be forever changed, but for some reason Im having a hard time generating excitement.

I just wanted to write this because I couldn’t find a post that expressed this and I can’t imagine I’m the only one who feels this way.