My depression stems from a miscarriage I recently had 5 months ago, the catch is I’m only 14

I’m not like every normal teenage girl,everyday I’m told that I’m pretty, I like my body ,I like how I look, no one bullies me, I have good grades ,I’m “popular” and yet deep down inside I’m suicidal and I’ve never been more depressed for I am the one in a million who had a miscarriage at my age and truly wanted the baby,and my boyfriend broke up with me right after because he didn’t want the baby or me in the first place was just there for the sex , there comes a unique pain from preparing a place in your heart for a child that never comes 😞💔