no one really gets over their first long-term ex right?! i haven’t talked to him in months. last time i did, i was in a relationship and i still am. during fall 2016 i was visiting my cousin out of state. that was the time when my ex and i started talking again. it was just catching up conversations, until things got spicy. we sexted a few nights while i was on my vacation. we even planned on hanging out when i got back for old time sake before he left back home(he was in the navy).

however, we never did meet up as i as was super hesitant.

anyways, time went by and we never spoke. up until he moved back home he messaged me again. though he had a girlfriend now and apparently during our sexting he was with her (still is).

time went by, we kept in touch here and there. he would always complain about how high maintenance and annoying his gf was. at one point he wanted to enlist in the navy again and she got mad at him. he asked me how i felt about it and i said whatever makes him happy. he even wanted me to be with him if he were ever to be stationed in the state i live in or anywhere else, cause he knew i could handle his ass (lol).

later on his girl noticed he was talking to me and of course she blocked me on every social media we had each other on. but he kept unblocking me. i know he misses me but will never admit it. he’s just that stubborn.

i then just disappeared because obviously this was just too much and very unhealthy and unfaithful.

noticing i was still blocked i’d always check up on him to see if he was doing fine on facebook. i became unblocked and my dumbass accidentally added him but removed it but she saw! and blocked me again.

weeks go by and he’s engaged with her. i’m still with my boyfriend of two years and a promise ring. he treats me so well that i know i don’t deserve but i feel like that will be my only chance of something long-term.

but i still catch myself looking through my ex’s profiles and hoping he will acknowledge me. i’m a fucking mess and i miss him.