Engaged but not to marry 😩

My dream as a child has always been to marry and change my last name. Well. I am engaged to the love of my life but he doesn’t ever want to marry we just wanted to wear rings and need be say “husband or wife” while talking business.

Well my brother in law just got engaged. I know my fiancé will be the best man and her sister who I don’t like will be the maid of honor. I am super jealous and don’t want to see him walk down the aisle with a girl I am not fond of. This seriously makes me sad. I want that woman to be me, I know obviously he’s not walking down to marry her. But ugh I am just so jealous of the wedding planning and wishing it was me saying my I do’s.

Ok now that I sound rediculous I’m done venting 😩💁🏾‍♀️

We have children together so I can’t just leave him I try to just understand 😩😩