Stepmom out i need a advise

So my hubby it’s always fighting with his ex wife because they daughter this is the thing i do my own thing at our home we bought a house they daughter have her own room bathroom she is 8 yrs old , i think she is too small and she still need some help like how take a good shower do her hair get dress etc etc , so today the big issue is that they daughter is getting into the age where she is getting lazy and before ask for something she just tell her mom i didn’t find it or we don’t have at our home , so my man got in a argument with his ex about that they daughter lie too much come to our house with dirty uniform not shower for few days , or dressing like i don’t know a so i have a daughter 6 yrs old and i dress my daughters super girly like his ex said and my husband daughter mom said that they daughter can’t be dress like to girl i don’t want to be in argument with her she just text me like she want to talk about her daughter with me but i think in my house i can dress her what ever i want , cus I’m trying to wear her according as my daughter and her like it but the other day she told me when she need to go with her mom she always want to wear short tennis and regular T-shirt never dress so her mom told my hubby that her daughter have her own style not too girly and her need to cut her own nails and take her self I’m not agree with that i just thinking this it’s not my situation I’m the only one who cut her nails do her hair for school buy new clothes be attentive with her all the time mom said al the time i don’t have time cut ur own nails so i don’t want to call that ex because i know my self this will be end wrong my help is i should call her or this is not my problem what she think and just ignoring that text i keep cleaning my stepdaughter nails etc

The white dress is my step daughter and orange my daughter my style when we go to a bday party mall ate etc that her mom way short tennis