If he wanted .......!!!!!!

If he wanted to talk to me HE WOULD!

Damn it why can’t I get that through my head. I can literally feel my heart shattered this time. He is really messing with my head. I sent my final goodbye text after he ignored me for weeks. Only for him to reply. Guess what my dumb ass does! I go see him. And guess what my dumbass does. Yeah you guessed it Ugh. I’m embarrassed I’m ashamed! I’m sick in my head I’m BROKEN! If he wanted me he’d have me. My soul doesn’t even want to exist anymore. What did I do! How can one person make you feel so miserable!

Yeah yeah I know already get me a new guy. But damn it I wanted him! I need him! Oh f**k I love him so much.

I’ve picture my whole life with this man. I sit there and dream about him. God is punishing me! Why have me dream of him for 13 years? Just to pull him away from me? I’m beyond disbelief. He motivates me he gives me courage he listens to me all my Anxiety goes away with him he is so sweet oh my god he is such a gentleman. An amazing father an amazing person! I hear his words in my head all the time “come home baby” oh god I came home but guess what? I’m alone 😞. I hear his voice all the time. I loved to stare at him looking at the screen. He thought I was watching the screen but really I was watching his eyes . He would turn and smile at me my whole world stopped and I cherished that! The smell of his pillow oh man oh man !

Yes ladies I’m fucking broken beyond repair! I can feel my heart jumping out my body. A trainwreck .