So today I went in for my ECV (trying to turn a breech baby). I arrived at L&D; at 10:30. By then I was starving, because I couldn't eat 8 hours before the appointment, and hadn't eaten since dinner at 6:30 the night before.

I changed, had a struggle with the nurses to get my blood drawn and IV in (poked about 5/6 times), and then got a shot in the arm that felt like a bad bee sting (it stops contractions).

The shot and the blood being taken had sent me into a bit of a shock. My heart rate dropped a bit, I got pale, hot, and shaky- but after about ten minutes and a cold rag on my head I felt better almost instantly again.

I had the baby checked, and the doctor let me know she was a bit big, and my fluids were a bit low- so we could try, but it wasn't as likely to work, but they'd try if I wanted to. I said yes- of course I want to try.

I took about a twenty minute nap after signing some papers, and then it was time to try the flip.

I had oil put on my stomach, and then my pregnant doctor started the pushing.

Let me tell you- it was extremely painful. It was hard to breath. It felt like my ribs were being pushed and my skin was being pulled off. The pressure was immense, and everywhere the doctors and nurses' hands were hurt. It felt like someone kneeing my stomach. It's truly indescribable. Especially when the doctor wiggled her hand under my babies bottom and tried lifting her out of my pelvis. Breathing normally was basically impossible, and all I could do was squeeze my SO's hand, pray, and breath heavily.

After about six tries of turning- both me and he doctor needing breaks in between- we finally decided she just wouldn't flip. She had gotten her head to turn from the left side to the right, and her bum came out of my pelvis about an inch, but it just wasn't happening.

The doctor and nurses told me I had really hung in there, tried my hardest, and put up with more than most women do. I was brace. Part of me still felt like a failure, and I did have a few tears, but let it go as soon as possible. I realized I had done all I could, I had given my best shot at having an unmedicated vaginal birth. I had thought my whole pregnancy that I would be able to have it that way- I had absolutely no fear of a vaginal birth with no pain medication... but it just isn't in the cards for me. Now my plan is complete upside down and I'll be having a cesarean on the 9th, but I know by going through with the ECV, even though I was warned it was likely not to work, I have done everything I could.

I was set up to rest, and monitored, and other than a few light contractions and our heart rates needing to even back out, we were fine.

I would do it again, it hurt, it was uncomfortable, I couldn't eat for 23 hours, and I feel extremely bruised... but for the chance to have the vaginal unmedicated I wanted I would try again. God has plans for us that are a bit different than the ones I had, but I know my baby will be here soon, in my arms, and safe- I have faith in that. I can't wait to hold my stubborn (big booty 😂) little girl!

Side note: I finally got to eat and it was awesome. My mom made me eggplant parmesan. I guess she was so worried last night she stayed up and cooked me food for today. So mowing down on that was a nice reward for my efforts. 😂😅