July 16, 2017.. I had a positive pregnancy test. I was about 4 weeks 6 days.

Had my first appointment 2 weeks later.. & a week later was my other.. 3 weeks after, i went in for my almost 11 week appointment.. & my baby no longer had a heartbeat. My little on quit growing at 8 weeks. I had a missed miscarriage..

I scheduled a d&c..; & had the surgery september 8. Also, my dads birthday..

Now, almost 4 months later..

I tried again.

I’ve had my 15- days of waiting to test..

Only to get a few positives and then the rest were negative.

I’ve been so down..

I’ve held back all the tears.

Why?

Why cant people who want a baby.. have one.

WHY?

What did we do to deserve this?

Here’s to hoping I am testing too early....