Today, on New Years <a href="https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.glow.android.eve">Eve</a>, I sat in the ER for 5 hours all to be told from a blood sample I have once again had a miscarriage. As the doctor was telling me "your time will come" " you're young" "you have plenty of time" I felt numb because I've heard this all before and the feelings and questions washed right back over me. Why does this keep happening to me? What have I done to deserve this? Am I even going to be able to carry?

I prayed every night and asked God to let me hold this baby in my arms. "It happend for a reason" "God knows when the time is right." Well I can't help but feel angry at him. So far I have no answers to why this is happening and I'm angry and betrayed.

So as everyone is ringing in the New Year with happiness, I'm sitting here numb trying to justify everything as my body aborts this precious baby...